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DOSA
Apart from the genuinely ethical use of the reputed management consultancy firms of the world by their clients, they are also appointed by the client companies to meet their pre-meditated ends- let us not be hypocritical about this aspect of corporate life. After all, human mortals alone, with all kinds of good and bad motives run these organizations- the client companies as well as the reputed management consultancy firms. At times, these reputed management consultancy firms are happily willing to cooperate with their client companies in such ventures for the exchange of unimaginably fat fees that they charge to the client companies to bestow their expertise under these kinds of circumstances.
The pre-meditated ends that the client companies might wish to achieve could be- removal of a CEO or some director(s) on the board or some other top shots of the company who are becoming increasingly inconvenient to the rest of the jokers of the company for some vague reasons or laying off chunk of employees, all of this under the garb of restructuring or reorganization or it may be seeking huge loans from the financial institutions that they cannot get without being backed up by a thick report by a reputed consultant with loads of statistics, colorfully complicated graphs and charts and lots of incomprehensible jargon etc.
Under such consultancy assignments, the client company gives hints of their pre-meditated agenda during the various briefing sessions which are easily grabbed by the ever intelligent consultants of the consultancy firm and then, the whole lot of DOSA is prepared (DOSA is a delectable South Indian delicacy). Presently, DOSA means- decision oriented systems analysis. In this technique, first the decision is decided and then reasons are fabricated to support that decision. It’s that simple. The consultants, then, use their entire efforts and time in the client organization to ultimately prepare a nice dish of DOSA.
The story presently being written here belongs to such a team of a client company and it's management consultancy firm.
This company had already taken a few decisions: continue with the existing obsolete product, bag a huge loan from an international financial institution, fire a few top managers who were a threat to the existing kingdom and induct a few favorites. A reputed management consultancy firm was hired to study the entire gamut and come up with their recommendations of the proposed product mix, organization network and financial structure. They already had the hints from their client company on what kind of recommendations should surface.
Among other things that were happening, as a fall-out of the consultancy firm’s interim recommendations throughout the organization as a part of the exciting consultation studies and interviews etc, in a cabin of the Vice President (Human Resources), a meeting between the Principal Consultant of the consultancy firm and Vice President (Human Resources) was taking place.
Principal Consultant to Vice President (Human Resources), “You already know me. We were introduced in the apex meeting that took place a few days ago in the chamber of your Managing Director. As a part of the consultancy assignment, now we wish to start our studies in the human resources department. We believe that human resources are vital and therefore, your department plays a vital role too.”
Vice President (Human Resources), “OK, go ahead. I will introduce you and your team of consultants to my senior team. You can talk to them, collect any information or data you need from them and whatever else you wish to do, they will be around.”
Principal Consultant, “Don’t worry about it now. That can come later. But, as a starter, I do wish to emphasize that we are critically looking at the efficacy of the current organization structure and the status of the entire managerial manpower. You will have to be open to our questioning and don’t feel hurt if in the end, our recommendations unsettle some guys in the company, particularly at the senior levels. This is strictly between you and me; I am opening up more with you since you are in charge of human resources. Anybody at any level, howsoever senior he may be, can get affected by such studies. Even you. Please don't mind saying so to you so very bluntly.”
Vice President, “OK, I understand.”
Principal Consultant, “That much is OK for this first meeting. I have to go interview your Finance Director right away. We must help you guys in getting the much needed loan. That’s like a survival package for your company. Will be seeing you soon.”
Then, the Principal Consultant got up from his seat and walked right up to the door of the cabin, opened the door and almost walked out only to peep into the cabin once again.
He said, “Just one little thing.” And then, he walked back and sat in the chair once more.
He continued, “I understand you are going to this engineering college for the campus recruitment of graduate engineer trainees.”
Vice President (Human Resources), “Yes, tomorrow.”
By this time, the Principal Consultant had pulled out some papers from his brief case and spread them on the table. He said, “It’s strictly between you and me. It has nothing to do with the professional side of our work. It’s absolutely private. This is the bio-data of my brother-in-law (wife’s brother). He is studying in this college where you are visiting tomorrow. He may not be the most brilliant guy but for your set-up, he is the best fit. You just can't get anyone else like him, I assure you. And my wife wishes to see him settled here- this way he can stay with his parents in his own home town. So, please recruit him tomorrow. I am sure, you can do it.”
Without even waiting for reply, he left the bio-data on the table and walked out of the cabin.
Vice President (Human Resources) was left wondering in his cabin, he was talking to himself, “Does my survival now in this company depend on whether I recruit the brother-in-law of the ever-so-powerful Principal Consultant?”
The stories being published on these pages here are available in the form of a book: eBook version titled "Funny (and Not So Funny Short Stories" from Nuubuu http://nbuu.co/1 and Printed book from Amazon.
(Also, refer our High Quality Management Encyclopedia at: http://management-universe.blogspot.com/)
For “out of box thinking” articles by Shyam Bhatawdekar, refer: (Out of Box Ideas) http://wow-idea.blogspot.com/
Read other blogs of Shyam Bhatawdekar at: (Home Page for Writings of Shyam Bhatawdekar) http://writings-of-shyam.blogspot.com/
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